I was a dopamine addict.
My days were all about getting as much distracted from my obligations. I start my day with going through all the messages I got last night and random group chatters, then I get ready for the day, but only to watch 5 Anime episodes or scroll through TikTok. My evenings involved playing PUBG for 6-8 hours with people I met online. Then I head to sleep while holding my phone and watching from anime.
This is how my life been for the last 10 years, and each year I had a new addiction, different methods but same damage.
I realized the pit I was falling into, perhaps because I wanted the comfort of living like this and letting the adults take care of the job, or it could be how family and friends consider it the norm. You go to school, you eat, and we don’t care what you do the rest of the day or in your life. I’m not sure, but I knew damn well I had to escape this life.
At some point 5 years ago, when family couldn’t support my education, and they had hard times, I looked at myself, what I achieved, and compared myself to the people I labelled as friends. Well, it appears I had no shit to my name. No degree, no job, $0 balance without even a bank account, and 2x2 bed space I call home. I yelled in my brain fuck no, this is not the life I want to have nor the people I want to become like.
To be continued some day… perhaps add more polish and clarity or turn it into what I learned about dopamine addiction rather than a personal story.